Sometimes it’s there, nibbling below the surface, causing rumbling and grumbling. The enemy just loves to fan anger, and I admit it. I get mad. And in some cases, I want to get even. This guy bursts out and makes himself known, and I figure it’s my right to do the same thing. I can’t help it! It’s in my nature to protect my property. The last thing I want to do is enlist allies and go to war, but I will when necessary.
I’ve spoken this aloud. “We don’t want your kind in our neighborhood! Go find another place to live! If you want to live in a dirt heap, go for it. But go somewhere else! I can’t walk out the door without wanting to scream, “Why here?!”
Others, many others, in fact, feel the same way. My next-door neighbor offered to help get rid of him, and I had no qualms about saying YES. I even told him I’d pay him! I made an offer and he accepted.
There were several failed attempts. We had confirmation of an intelligent, wily adversary mocking us. By the end of the week, my neighbor triumphed. He grinned and said, “I got him!” We high-fived. And I brought over a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies with macadamia nuts.
Unfortunately, the battle isn’t over. I know before my enemy’s demise; he’d mustered an underground army. They’ll be seeking revenge. They’ll be diving under the gopher mesh and tunneling under our back lawn, going through our veggie garden, and popping up on the front lawn. If they had flags, they’d plant them.
Score: Francine – 1. Gophers – 5, and still counting
One must admire this annoying species. They did help drive the Russians out of Fort Ross.