Ah, February—the month of Valentine’s Day. When I was a child, my classmates and I taped up empty lunch bags in the classroom, hoping they would fill up with cards, and maybe a special one from a secret crush. It was a day of excruciating anticipation, ending sometimes in delight or crushing disappointment. I remember one card specifically: “Roses are red, violets are blue, you have two hips like a B-32.” That probably came from the boy I kicked in the shins for teasing a friend.
These days I see roadside flower stands popping up all over, displaying bouquets of red roses for those last-minute shoppers. Supermarkets fill with cuddly stuffed bears, boxes of chocolates, racks of cards, and tissue-bundled flowers. I’m sure Valentine’s Day is the most stressful day of the year for florists or the edible fruit “flower” arrangement companies (a tasty treat, especially when the fruit is chocolate-dipped).
Elizabeth Barrett Browning inspires me to count ways we can love one another. Here is a short list:
• Create a personal Valentine’s Day card. Yes, a carefully selected Hallmark card is wonderful, but there is something even more special about a handwritten love note. I repeat: handwritten—not typed, texted, or emailed, unless you have a physical limitation that prevents you from holding and using a pen. Those handwritten notes are often reread and held on to for years.
• Tuck special notes under your loved one’s windshield wiper (in a sandwich bag if there’s rain, sleet, or snow). Other places to leave notes: an underwear drawer, among socks, in their glove compartment, in a book they are reading—someplace it may take a little time to find.
• Do the dishes when it isn’t your turn or your chore.
• Share the remote control (and the choice of what to watch!).
• Get out of bed early, fetch the newspaper at oh-dark-thirty, have the coffee ready to pour when your spouse gets up (and be ready to catch them when they faint from shock).
• Pick up your loved one’s favorite snack at the grocery store (unless it’s 2,000 calories a bite, and they’re on a diet and will see this as a deliberate temptation to sabotage their efforts).
• Say “I love you” at least once every day.
• Give your loved one more than a good-bye and hello kiss on the way in and out the door to work, though those two kisses are very important.
• Offer a hug that lasts at least ten seconds. We all need human contact and a good hug is highly beneficial for the heart muscle.
• Listen when your spouse is talking to you. Don’t just say, “Uh-huh.” Make eye contact and focus.
• Pray together about shared concerns. The old adage, “Those who pray together stay together” is true.
• Hold hands while walking whenever you can. For those of us getting older, it’s helpful. If one starts to fall, the other holds steady! And when others see two little old people walking hand-in-hand, it’s proof love can last a lifetime.
• Showing common courtesy is all too uncommon these days. Practice that with everyone 24/7.
The truth is, any day can be Valentine’s Day. Expressions of love are welcome 365 days of the year.