People are complex and there are always challenges when two people become one. Rick and I have been married for 55 years and believe we have some worthwhile advice to give those who are contemplating the adventure of marriage – or who are already married but going through some rocky times. We certainly did and weathered the storm(s).
Choose your spouse wisely
Rick and I have known one another and been friends since the fifth grade. Neither of us had any idea we would end up married to one another. We only went out on one date in high school (the freshmen Fall Prom) and then dated others after that. We were good friends. We could talk, even when we didn’t always agree. Rick wanted to go into the Marine Corps (He did and served in Vietnam), and I wanted to be a writer. We both wanted to travel. And we did travel – together. Our grandparents were immigrants. His mother’s parents were Swedish. My maternal grandfather was German, my grandmother Swiss. All of them became American citizens. They all remained married for a lifetime, as did our parents. Good examples for us. When troubles come – as they always do in life – they worked through them and became stronger for them.
A healthy love triangle
Rick and I had some very rough times over the first years. When we put Jesus in the center of our relationship, things changed for the better. A common faith and desire to grow in our individual relationships with Christ as well as in our relationship with one another helped us build a strong marriage. We found ourselves to be an anomaly when our daughter told us all her friends and acquaintances came from blended, broken, or single-parent families. (Now we have children who have been married for almost 30 years.)
Encourage each other to fulfill your dream.
Rick fanned the flames of my dream to be a writer. “Go for it!” “Don’t leave that manuscript in the closet. Find an agent.” He was the first editor on all my books, my primary cheerleader. He said, “Don’t bother looking for a job. Stay home with the kids and write.” And later, when he wanted to go into his own business, I gulped down my fears and said, “Go for it.” He started with two small bags of airplane parts and ended up with a ten-thousand-square-foot building full, and a line-up of customers. Dare to dream and help each other achieve all God nudges you to do.
Share a vision.
Rick wanted to be a philanthropist. The truth is, you don’t have to be wealthy to give. It’s a mindset, and Rick led the way. (He’s always been generous.) Keep what you need and give away the rest. It’s called “intentional giving,” and we do have to be wise about it. It takes planning. The truth is, whatever you earn in life, whatever possessions you collect, stays here when you die. So why not plan on how to give away as much as you can spare as you go along? “Pass it forward” to those who will use what resources you can offer to help others. Not just your own children, but others who need help to achieve their potential. The thing with giving is it can be fun and exciting. Even better if it’s anonymous.