What’s Mine is Yours and Yours is Mine
I’ve heard and read about the “new” trend of couples who keep their individual earnings separate. In my opinion, money can be all about control, and when you start off a marriage keeping things separate (“What’s mine is mine!”), the “togetherness” of a relationship is already in danger. Rick and I have always “pooled” our money. We work together to give (to God first), save, and pay bills. We have been “poor” and “comfortable,” and we have never lacked for a roof over our heads and food on the table. The biggest debt we ever incurred was a mortgage on a house (houses), and the goal was to pay it off as quickly as possible. We don’t care what the “financial experts” say. God says to pay off your debts – and frankly, being debt-free is liberating. (Check out what you could buy with that finance charge you pay every month on your credit card…) It’s amazing how quickly a home can be paid off when you put a little extra (even $10-25) on principle every month. Debt enslaves people.
Keep the Hearth Fires Burning
Sex is important. God intended us to enjoy making love (within marriage). Have fun! Enjoy one another. Great sex is a blessing from God (when it is within the bounds of marriage).
The One Ever Constant Challenge: Change
Rick and I grew up together. Neither of us is the same person we were when we said our vows. But those vows are VOWS. Keep them. Every stage of life has its challenges and its blessings. Weather the first and give thanks for the second. You start off just the two of you, young and passionate. We had children and things changed. Time was limited and precious. Parenting is hard work and well worth it. But we needed to be sure to carve out “just you and me, babe” time. After all, the children are only in the house for a limited number of years, and then we’d be back to “just you and me, babe”. Don’t forget that. Stay committed and connected. Doing so will make the next phase, the empty nest, easier. Then there are the retirement years. Rick retired. I didn’t. But he had to learn to find things to enjoy other than running his own business. Health issues came along. There are always surprises in life. Life can feel like a ride on a winding road, wondering what’s around the bend. Think of it as an adventure! We’re in the “homebody” stage right now. Caregiving has its own challenges and blessings. Living fully is all about continuing to grow and learn separately and together.
Make New Friends, and Keep the Old
My mother gave me great advice years ago. “Be sure to make friends in different generations.” Great advice. For one thing, at our age, friends are passing on. If we only made friends from our generation, eventually we’ll be alone (unless we go before the rest). It’s wise as well as interesting to have friends of all ages. Different generations have different points of view, different life experiences. Seek out friends who enjoy discussion. Life is a bore if you only hear one point of view. Different points of view help us practice discernment and give us opportunities to share our worldview with truth in love.
The End is not the End
We are all going to end up somewhere someday. Every human being is a soul clothed in a body (that looks used up, washed out, and dried up in the end – even if you have good genes). Where do you want to spend eternity? As for Rick and me, we want to be in heaven with Jesus. We think ahead more often now than we did when we were younger. It’s nice to know where we’ll be living when we shed these old husks we wear. It helps keep this life in perspective. This life is not all there is. The best is yet to come.