Scrapping a Proposal

I’m scrapping my proposal and prologue today. Shredding it is a better idea.  I’ve been thinking/working over a story idea for months!  I dream about this “thing”, whatever it is.  It’s been like living in a rabbit warren and the rabbits keep producing more rabbits.  In this case, ideas are reproducing ideas.  I’m living in a maze of them and I’ve been having trouble making sense of where all this is going and why it’s happening.  

Is it any wonder then when Rick read my book proposal and prologue he could only say: “It will be very interesting to see how you pull this off.”  Uh oh!  And then my agent and her associate called and gently broke the news:  “We’ve been scratching our heads… we didn’t get it…”  Not a surprise.  How do you explain something you can’t quite grasp?  As to form?  It was (sort of) a paranormal, sci-fi, fantastical allegorical mess. 

But as they talked, my head was buzzing again, more ideas, but an entirely different direction.  The heart of the idea still beat strongly, but the body changed.  Ohhhweee!

Of course, I wanted to talk with Rick and see if his real take on the submitted proposal and prologue was the same as these trusted friends.  He gave me a pained smile and said, “Tell them thank you for telling the truth so I wouldn’t have to.” (He has to live with me, you know.)  “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”  As if I would shed a tear or say an angry word.  Now, would I? 

But you know what?  I’m not hurt.  I’m not upset.   I’m excited!   As odd as it seems, sometimes you have to wander around in the darkness to find a little clarity.   Praise God!!

Some people get the wrong idea about how easy it is for an “experienced” writer to whip out another book.   The thing is, folks, I’m still an apprentice.