Feeling Exposed

One question that comes up frequently is how I feel about exposing so much of my personal life and my past sins, through my writing.   Although I wasn’t a prostitute, I gave myself away and experienced the heartache and emptiness of misplaced love.  I also experienced the horrendous consequences, along with the shame and guilt of certain decisions (abortion; addressed in The Atonement Child). 

It was Redeeming Love that began the process of dealing with my hidden sins.  By focusing daily on Scripture and learning about God’s amazing, redeeming, grace-filled love, I began to trust Him more.  I followed the same path Angel did, beginning as a child of darkness, being defiantly opposed to anyone (even God) controlling my life, then fear that what God wanted from me was not pieces of myself–but everything, my past, my present, my future.   When I came to know Him more through His Word, I saw how wide and deep His love is for each and every one of us and I longed to be a part of extending that love to others.  And then, finally, I felt the sense of freedom, wonder and joy when the chains are stripped away and He lifts us up on wings like eagles.

Scripture tells us that God doesn’t give us more than we can bear.   When He opened my mind and heart to Him, it felt like a crack in my shell and a spear of light entering.  Of course, light begins to dispel the darkness.  But there are still shadows, still closed off rooms, closets, and attics.  Each book I have written since Redeeming Love has let the light into those shadowed places. 

I believe the things we hide in darkness keep us living as captives.   Coming to Christ means we are saved, but it is also begins a life-long process of transformation.  God is at work refining us.  Sometimes the heat becomes more intense in order to break loose those deeper, darker areas we keep pressed down in the hidden recesses of our hearts and minds.  But God knows what we need.  He is the Healer.  He is the lover of our Soul.

I can tell you with absolute confidence that He keeps His promises and is worthy of our trust and our love.