I’m always afraid to say too much about a project I’m working on because it seldom turns out to be like the outline. Characters tend to take over and I’m just along for the ride to see where they’re going to end up. In this case, I don’t want to say too much because there is a surprise imbedded that has a lot to do with why I started this project in the first place. I don’t want to spoil it.
The two main characters are very wounded individuals who face life in very different ways. The childhood experiences I imagined for them are so traumatic I went to a group of family therapists for counseling. I’m not kidding. I wanted to know if cases like these exist. Sadly, they do and in growing numbers. I also wanted to know if the patterns of behavior I see coming for my characters are realistic and if they line up with how people cope and survive as they grow up in an unloving environment and what problems those coping skills can cause later in life. Again, they said I’m on the right track.
All that means I’m going to be on an emotional roller coaster ride for the duration of this project. This book is definitely out of my comfort zone. I had loving parents and stable home. I’m happily married to a wonderful man who loves me just the way I am with all my faults and failures. It’s disturbing and distressing to enter into the minds of fictional characters that live vastly different lives from what I have. Redeeming Love comes to mind. And Bridge to Haven. The characters in this book have already become real to me. I’m watching them grow up in painful situations. I love them. I feel their confusion and hurt. I understand their dreams. I want them to make better decisions!
This project includes a lot about making choices. Every day we are presented with something that requires us to make a decision. And every decision impacts our lives for good or bad. Sometimes a small decision can have huge ramifications. Some people mistakenly believe not making a choice keeps them safe. In truth, no choice is a choice and can lead to misery of the acutest kind.
What else can I say about this project without confusing you even more? It is about wanting to be in God’s will and not quite knowing what that means. It’s about how hard love can be. It’s about bonding with others and the risk that things might not work out. It’s about doing what we think God wants and then finding out we were just being co-dependent and God was allowing us to have our way so we’d lead a lesson. It is about running scared and protecting ourselves to the point of self-destruction. And it’s about how God can bring healing in ways we least expect it. And, of course, it’s about love triumphant.